...and Another Thing...

From One Thing to another Thing, John was also in Seussical the Musical as Thing Two. He was assisting in the technical side of the performance also. 

Over April 9 – 10, we – Richard and I – were honored to accompany John to Berea, Kentucky to visit his alma mater, Berea College. While John was off doing his thing we had the joy of visiting with Dallas who is in his second year studying at Berea. 

So what was John doing?  He was making a quantum leap into his future.  On Saturday evening he asked Erin Hay to marry him.  She agreed and now sports the engagement ring of proof.  Erin will be graduating on May 8 at the top of her class.  They hope to achieve a summer wedding but more information on that to follow.  Meanwhile, John ducked closer to the happily-ever-after side when he was affirmed this week that he is now a full-time counselor at South East Missouri Behavioral Health. He had wavered about proposing while he was in only a part-time job situation.  He is rejoicing that the Lord honored his step of faith. 

Future Things?

Sarah has added her share of excitement to our lives again – this time in the form of twins.  About a year ago Sarah and Neal began the application process to qualify as adoptive parents.  Last month they received fifteen-month-old identical twin boys to foster with the anticipation of adoption.  Having been placed into the public foster system only nine months before, the boys were still in the legal process of termination of parental rights. This past Wednesday the courts gave the nod to proceed with the legal transfer of parenting rights to Neal and Sarah. They anticipate the process may take up to six months, but in the meanwhile the boys are thriving in Sarah and Neal’s home.  We hope to make the journey to Florida to see them in May.  

Clown Sighting? No. Thing Sighting.

It is no wonder that Richard can have challenging days with moments of confusion when one looks out and sees a Thing in the yard.

Emory was quite a Technicolor spectacle while he was mowing the yard today.  That green mop on his head is really his hair dyed for his part in Seussical the Musical.  You see, he is a Thing - Thing One to be exact.  You may recall that the Things were the blue-haired helpers The Cat in The Hat let loose to liven up the rainy day for the poor boy and girl left at home.  Emory has dyed his hair blue so he can serve as part of the technical crew for the play that ran last week. He has to touch up the color tomorrow so that he is back to neon blue for the last four performances this week.  

The Waiting is Over... Again

Wait for the Lord;

be strong and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord!   Ps.27:14

I looked at the expiration date on the small can of tomato sauce – January, 2013. That snapped me back to the reality that we are living in a new series of timetables. The tomatoes would expire before Richard’s first term of disability. The waiting was over. The anticipated disability notification letter arrived yesterday with all of the time frames laid out for us for up to four years.

To qualify for disability support the first two years, Richard must be unable to perform at the capacity to fill his most recent post. The next two years will require that he try working at any profession in which he has the ability.  With any job, disability will supplement his pay up to his former pay scale. After four years he will be moved on to early retirement with the state for a fraction of the price they pay for disability. 

Over the past months I had collected verses on a little bookmark in my Bible.  The verse at the top of this entry was the first one, and it was so very appropriate for the days until now. Whenever I risked despairing I would recite that verse to get re-centered.  Now that we know some time restraints and just what our financial resources will be, it seems to be time to move on to the next verse which happens to be –

Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me!

O Lord, be my helper!   Ps. 30:10

When I would give a child a challenging task I would often have the child appear at my elbow with the complaint that so-and-so sibling was not helping with the task.  My retort was always, “How can he be helping you if you are not working? Get back to work to show your sibling what obedience looks like. Then he might just be inspired to help.”  When I saw the child return to work I could then deliver an inspirational speech to the idle sibling to pitch in to help, and we would all live happily ever after. 

The one called on to help could not help when the caller was not working. It seems our Heavenly Father may have that advice for us now as we search out His will, His work and His plan.  

ARRIVALS

PRIMO ARRIVAL

Over the past weeks we have been submitting letters and applications regarding Richard’s work future.  Last Wednesday, March 30, he submitted a letter to his employer requesting an old-fashioned leave of absence.  He is currently off work under a federally mandated Family Medical Leave which expires April 19.  Since there is no way that he could be ready by April 19 to return to a nursing position providing care for 50 residents, he hoped the old-fashioned leave of absence without pay would push off the date of return while keeping the job door open. 

Back on March 9, Richard had submitted application through his employer for long-term disability. He had been informed that the disability application was received and the material he had sent was adequate to support a ruling. As the time moved on he felt the time pressure of the April 19 deadline to return to work. 

Yesterday, he received a reply from his employer declining his request for the additional four months of leave, but instead was granted two days. His employer said that he had been approved for long-term disability and the two days she granted would create a seamless transition from his leave to his disabled status.  Once he enters the disabled status he is automatically classified “voluntarily resigned in good standing.”

We took that all in with mixed emotions. This was a second-hand report about his disability status being approved. After all this is Missouri, the Show-Me State, so show me the official papers.  Anticipation will heighten our vigil for the postal carrier until it arrives.

DINNER FUTURES #1

Meanwhile, other things have arrived this past week.  In all, 26 chicks arrived on Thursday – Buff Orpington cockerels.  The little fluff balls are so very entertaining as they scamper around of the brooder area.  I could just pull up a chair to watch them for hours on end. 

That brings to mind a story…

In Africa, Sarah was on a safari trip with her cousin Carla.  Sarah happened to comment to a guide that there are seven children in our family.  The guide snidely asked, “What, don’t your parents have television?”  “No,” Sarah retorted innocently, “they have chickens.”  He didn’t get it, but Sarah had a good laugh at his puzzlement.     

DINNER FUTURES #2

Another arrival with a future to be invited to dinner was five or six baby bunnies.  As a part of Richard’s therapy, the family made it clear to him to decide when our bunny couple could strive for progeny.  While they had come of age back in November, they had been held back from breeding, first to avoid a winter birth and second simply overlooked amid the surgery hustle. Early in March Richard declared that it was time to permit them to be fruitful and multiply.  With a 30-day gestation period, we are proud to announce the arrival of the baby bunnies today.

But this brings to mind another story…

Let me share a flashback to clarify just how passionate Richard is for rabbits.

One of his last comments before his surgery involved the rabbits. When he was in the pre-op holding he had vowed that “the next person who asks me if I have any questions, I have one for them.”  He was prepared to ask his then-most-recent favorite joke. 

The joke goes…

As the rabbits were put together for mating, what did the male bunny say to the female bunny? “This won’t take long, did it?” 

Sadly, after he made that resolution, no one asked him if he had any questions.

TRIUMPH

The socks were done three days before the temperatures got warmer.  Yippee.  Let the warm air come in. 

Decisions Making

Sunday we enjoyed the opportunity to visit with a friend from South Africa.  David Tswaedi, former seminary classmate of Richard and former bishop of the Lutheran Church in Southern Africa when we were in Botswana, was in St. Louis.  David had a couple free hours Sunday afternoon and we were able to visit on the St. Louis seminary campus. At the end of our visit David asked if we could give him a lift to a church in St. Peters, Missouri.  “Sure,” we said in good African form, even though we had no idea where the church was. 

In the car Richard got out the St. Louis map.  My heart raced mildly as I remembered the last time he was armed with a map in St. Louis. (See March 9 entry)

I climbed into the driver’s seat and asked, “Are you sure you can figure this out?”

“Yes,” he said, condescendingly, giving me a side-glance and unfolding the map.

As we pulled out of the seminary, we discussed how to get to I-70 which had the most direct route to St. Peters.  Richard relaxed to permit me to find the best route.  I chose I-170 but was plagued with left hand exits that furrowed Richard’s brow briefly.  Soon we were on I-70. 

As we crossed the Missouri River I realized I had no idea which exit to take.  I was totally dependent on Richard’s map reading since the road we were seeking did not have a direct exit from the interstate.  He projected that the fourth exit after the river would be the best option.  He was correct, but off the interstate I failed to get in the correct lane to execute a right hand turn.  By the grace of God, a couple cars at the first light were slow and I could play the jackrabbit to get into the right lane.  Soon we were on the road searching for the church.  Bingo, Richard saw it.  He had successfully read the map, and I had successfully listened!   Progress again!

Setting the Alarm

We were both gratified that Richard did so well at making decisions with the map and in delivering such clear direction. But by the time we returned home he must have used up all his precision brain power.  I was delayed at getting to bed as I completed some writing business for an article I was submitting to the advertizing tabloid.  I thought Richard had simply gone to bed, but the truth came out in the morning. 

Richard invested his waiting time in adjusting his cell phone settings.  He has a spare non-network cell phone beside his bed that he uses only as a clock.  He had set the calendar to alarm at one time and the alarm clock at another time.  On his ATT cell phone he had set his alarm to go off at still another time.  Starting at 5:30 this morning an alarm went off every little bit until we got them under control by 6:05. 

I took a moment of silence while I contemplated what to do with that man.  I decided to simply give him a hug. We then disarmed all the alarms and schedules on both of our cell phones and agreed upon one time that our phones would simultaneously ring every morning.  I never would have guessed that decision-making would be such a target in therapy. 

A Close Clip

Yesterday (Thursday) was the clearest day Richard has had since surgery.  He started the day out saying, “I feel great! I am thinking clearly.”  He was as sharp as my best kitchen paring knife.  As the day progressed, he tapered to be more like a nice quality butter knife, but he still had a cutting-edge wit. 

At bedtime, we talked about plans for the next day.  He offered to give me a haircut since I was looking a bit shaggy.  He has been my primary hairstylist throughout our 35 years of marriage, so I said, “Let’s plan on it.”

Today, Richard sat up in bed and said, “I’m cloudy today.”

I instantly thought – do I want a brain-damaged man taking a sharp instrument to my head?  Should I let him give me a haircut?

I voiced my reserve at the breakfast table.  My children were so consoling.  They came to the comforting consensus, “Dad won’t do anything that a buzz-cut can’t fix.”

They all offered to do before-and-after pictures to document Richard’s prowess with the scissors.  I was afraid they were really thinking of making a bizarre Power Point to post on YouTube.  I declined the photo documentation.

After breakfast, Richard asked, “Well, do you trust me?”

How could I say “no” to such a sincere offer? We chatted further, and I agreed that the children were close to correct in that even if Richard failed I could have it repaired elsewhere. 

I smiled a weak smile and resolved to sit in Richard’s stylist chair.  He draped me with the barber’s cape and set to work. I closed my eyes, as was my usual, to keep hair chaff from flying in.  Snip, snip, comb, part, snip, clip.  Soon he was finished.  

I loosened the clamp on my eyes and peeked out. He was smiling a wide silly self-satisfied smile as he held up the mirror for me to inspect his work.  The mirror only reflected the barber’s cape.  I reached up to try to reposition it, but he kept tilting it down.  He didn’t notice the mirror’s angle. He was grinning with pride at my haircut.  I couldn’t see it very well, so I said it was fine as I scampered off to the shower for a wash. 

After I was out of the shower with squeaky clean hair and with a wall-mounted mirror I could utter the verdict – PERFECT.  It was one of the best cuts he had given me in at least five years.  I gave my stylist a big kiss and “thank you.”

“See,” he declared. “Your brain-damaged husband can still cut hair. It is only the communication I have a problem with.”   

The Week's Snapshot

The sock is finished.

The next one is underway. 

Richard is decreasing his post-op anti-convulsion medication and will be completely finished with it this coming week.  As that medication has been decreasing I feel he has been having an increase in good days.  Once, he actually spontaneously stated, “Things are getting clearer.”   While he has not had Level 4 or 5 (defined in March 6 entry) episodes this week, he was still dismayed when he digressed to Level 3 once or twice.  His progress is a combination of consistently clearer thought or more effective coping with his deficiencies. Either way seems to be a winner.